borrowed time

[Jane]

My mother just called me tonight, her voice cracked and hoarse from the cough that she has been exhibiting for the past few days. This early morning, my dad asked her to get him to the emergency because he was feeling faint, weak and had a blood pressure of 150 over something (and that with the blood pressure medication), but because ambulance would have brought him to the closest hospital, my brother drove them. Apparently they have been in an isolated room for fear of the swine flu but quite honestly, I'm confused and a bit in shock... pneumonia, bronchitis and heart failure are all being mentioned in the same breath but I won't believe anything I can get more information from the nurses or doctor at the hospital tomorrow. Until then, it's just waiting and a lot of pondering on the past few months, the isolated emergency visits for various reasons, none of them high blood pressure (non-stop nose bleeds, extremely low blood pressure) but nevertheless blood related. Meanwhile, I am also concerned about my mother who has been complaining of ongoing dizzy spells and does not sound exactly like a picture of health right now either. It was just last week that we had 5lb lobsters that my mother cooked, and the previous week korean bbq. It's strange how things can change so quickly even without it being a sudden surprise. This weekend my mother already asked us not to come over because of the cough that the both of them developed, but it sounded rather harmless at that point and because I had my head and hands full with the half marathon, I did not think too much about it other than urging my mother to make my dad drink a lot of warm water and try to suppress the cough. As always, it's the uncertainty that causes the most distress in this waiting exercise, and on top of that, being asked, "just in case" whether he is allowed to go on life support is rather stress-inducing.

[Carole Noble]

When I moved my mom and dad to Markham, I took both to a doctor every month because of my dad's Alzheimers - at the doctor's request. The doctor had us all into the office together - me so that I could see and hear what was going on and so that I could ask my own questions and express my concerns, and my mom, who he examined also every month along with my dad, because she was under so much stress trying to deal with my dad and with all the changes in her life. That doctor was such a wise man as he knew that my dad's illness was a family problem impacting everyone involved. I expect that you mom is feeling pretty stressed much of the time because of your dad's poor health and that impacts her health. Am I stating the obvious? This time in anyone's life is so difficult for them - and for their caring children.

[Jane]

I suppose life wouldn't be same if we did not go through these stages. My dad and mom are still recovering from their cough / flu but are doing much better.